The Lower Treave Caravan and Camping Park Blog

"Bugler! ....news coming soon on 2017 .....Sound the Advance!

Scroll down for all the latest information, news and views from Lower Treave.

Thursday 31 December 2009

Ooooo! MATRON!

For a good friend of Lower Treave who is currently under 'medical supervision'....



The one in the middle is doing the operation...

The one on the right is giving you the bed-bath...

...and the one on the left is just a figment of your imagination brought on by the anaesthetic!

Get well soon from all at Lower Treave.
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Tuesday 29 December 2009

REVIEW OF THE YEAR

The TV is full of them at the moment...or you could just look back through the Blogwall Bugle archive...at least there's no advertising for sofas!

Just go to the panel on the right and select the month of the year you want to browse through.

Remember, nostalgia ain't what it used to be! (and neither are the jokes on this blog! Ed)




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Note to self: BOOK CORNWALL CARAVAN / CAMPING HOLIDAY NOW!

Traditionally, the New Year period is our busiest time for bookings....and this year is no exception!

Just a quick reminder to our regular guests and readers that we are running fewer pitches this year, to give everyone a little more space to relax and enjoy their holiday, so a timely booking is essential to reserve your  bit of Cornwall for the summer holiday.

You can book your holiday here: http://www.lowertreave.co.uk/prices.html


And the long-range forecast for next summer...as soon as we have it we'll post it up here...but this is what it is looking like for the rest of the winter:


Wrap up warm....and dream of a great Cornish summer.
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Friday 25 December 2009

SENNEN MERMAIDS AND SEA MONSTERS! CHRISTMAS 2009

Just got back from the annual rite of passage known as the Sennen Cove Christmas Day Swim. Those of you of a nervous disposition may wish to look away now:



Goose grease fetches a high price as preparations are made.



A combination of a high tide and long legs make the dash to the sea mercifully short.



We're not waving...we're drowning!



Nic takes on the surf.



Julie looses her specs after an early encounter with a rogue two footer.



Nic C searches for Julie....she's behind you!



Whale? Shark? Grumpy old bugger from the campsite?



'Without my glasses it is almost impossible to find pants!'



Capt Webb and Grace Darling...a rare snapshot from history.



'Grateful' friends and relatives put away the insurance policies for another year.


Peter discovers there is a surprising amount of slack in his shorts whilst Norman explains to the ladeez how big it was before the swim. Gosh how they laughed!



Team Treave Swim 2009!



Home for cake and medals!

YouTube Swim
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Thursday 24 December 2009

Santa's Holiday of Choice!


A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OUR READERS




From us here at Lower Treave, to you, wherever you may be, have a lovely Christmas. Stay safe, stay warm, eat well, be happy and at peace with your world.
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Friday 18 December 2009

A CHRISTMAS POEM FROM THE POET LAUREATE

1
ON THE FIRST DAY OF CHRISTMAS,
a buzzard on a branch.

In Afghanistan,
no partridge, pear tree;
but my true love sent to me
a card from home.

I sat alone,
crouched in yellow dust,
and traced the grins of my kids
with my thumb.

Somewhere down the line,
for another father, husband,
brother, son, a bullet
with his name on.

2
TWO TURTLE DOVES,
that Shakespeare loved –
turr turr, turr turr –
endangered now
by herbicide,
the chopping down
of where they hide –
turr turr, turr turr –
hawthorn thickets,
hedgerows, woodland.
Summer's music
fainter, farther…
the spreading drought
of the Sahara.

3
THREE FRENCH HENS –
un, deux, trois –
do not know
that French they are.

Three Welsh lambs –
un, dau, tri –
do not know
that Welsh they baa.

Newborn babies –
one, two, three –
only know
you human be.

Only know
you human be.

4
THE GRENADA DOVE IS CALLING.
The Condor calls from the USA.
The Wood Stork calls from its wetlands.
The Albatross calls from the sea,
on the fourth day of Christmas.

The Yellow-eared Parrot is calling.
The Kakapo calls from NZ.
The Blue-throated Macaw is calling.
The Little Tern calls from Japan, calls
my true love sent to me.

The Corncrake is calling; the Osprey.
The Baikal Teal calls from Korea.
The Cuckoo is calling from England,
four calling birds.

5
THE FIRST GOLD RING WAS GOLD INDEED –
bankers' profits fired in greed.

The second ring outshone the sun,
fuelled by carbon, doused by none.

Ring three was black gold, O for oil –
a serpent swallowing its tail.

The fourth ring was Celebrity;
Fool's Gold, winking on TV.

Ring five, religion's halo, slipped –
a blind for eyes or gag for lips.

With these five gold rings they you wed,
then slip them off when you are dead.

With these five go-o-o-old rings.

6
I BOUGHT A MAGIC GOOSE FROM A JOLLY FARMER.
This goose laid Barack Obama.

I bought a magic goose from a friendly fellow.
This goose laid Fabio Capello.

I bought a magic goose from a maiden (comely).
This goose laid Joanna Lumley.

I bought a magic goose from a busker (poor).
This goose laid Anish Kapoor.

I bought a magic goose from a bargain bin, it
was the goose laid Alan Bennett.

I bought a poisoned goose from a crook (sick, whiffing).
This foul goose laid Nick Griffin.

7
THE SWAN AT COCKERMOUTH –
of a broken heart, one half.

The Mersey Swans, flying
for Hillsborough, wings of justice.

Two, married and mute on the Thames,
watching The Wave.

A Swan for Adrian Mitchell
and a Swan for UA Fanthorpe, swansongs for poetry.

The Queen's birds, paired
for life, beauty and truth.

8
ONE MILKED MONEY TO MEND HER MOAT.
Two milked voters to float her boat.
Three milked Parliament to flip her flat.
Four milked Government to snip her cat.
Five milked the dead for close-up tears.
Six milked the tax-payer for years and
years and years…
Seven milked the system to Botox
her brow.
Eight milked herself – the selfish cow.

9
BUT THE DEAD SOLDIER'S LADY DOES NOT DANCE.
But the lady in the Detention Centre does not dance.
But the honour killing lady does not dance.
But the drowned policeman's lady does not dance.
But the lady in the filthy hospital ward does not dance.
But the lady in Wootton Bassett does not dance.
But the gangmaster's lady does not dance.
But the lady with the pit bull terrier does not dance.
But another dead soldier's lady does not dance.

10
LORDS DON'T LEAP.
They sleep.

11
WE PAID THE BLUDDY PIPER
fir Scotland's Royal Bank;
twa pipers each
fir Fred and Phil,
fir Finlay, Fraser, Frank.
Too big tae fail!
The wee dog laughed!
The dish ran awa' wi' the spoon…
We paid the bluddy pipers,
but we dinnae call the tune.

12
DID THEY HEAR THE DRUMS IN COPENHAGEN,
banging their warning?
On the twelfth day in Copenhagen
was global warming stopped in its tracks
by Brown and Barack and Hu Jintao,
by Meles Zenawi and Al Sabban,
by Yvo de Boer and Hedegaard?
Did they strike a match
or strike a bargain,
the politicos in Copenhagen?
Did they twiddle their thumbs?
Or hear the drums
and hear the drums
and hear the drums?

Carol Ann Duffy
Christmas 2009
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DUCKING AND DIVING; SWIMMERS AND NON-SWIMMERS

Here are the excuses so far for not swimming on Christmas Day:

'I've got a poorly hand and don't want to get my sling wet.'

'The Christmas lunch doesn't cook itself you know.'

'The doctor says I've got to keep my vest on.'

'I did something in the gym last week and I still don't feel right.'

'It's below my minimum safe altitude.'

'Elfs can't swim.'

'The water cooler needs servicing.'

'I can't find my trunks.'

'My new watch isn't waterproof.'

...any more???



Mr Cook takes his role as senior lifeguard and towel steward very seriously.


'Mad as a fish!'



Ladies...calm yourselves!...please form an orderly queue.

See you there!
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LAST CHANCE TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE

On Christmas Day we will all be going for a swim on the beach at Sennen Cove. It will be very cold....which I don't mind... because the alternative is quite warm...and no beach.



They can't all be mad can they?

Last chance to have a say... http://www.avaaz.org/en/save_copenhagen/98.php?

Now...where's that goose grease?
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Tuesday 8 December 2009

HAVE YOU GOT THE BOTTLE FOR CHRISTMAS?

We've all been through the challenge of 'what is the most eco friendly christmas tree?', 'how do I recycle the tree at the end of the festive season?', 'what is my carbon sleigh print doing in all of this?' Well the answer seems to be start thinking about Christmas much earlier!

My crazy nephews have made their Christmas tree out of empty bottles (413 of them!) collected during the year. Lit by a single light, the tree stands out as a beacon to insanity on the road where they live.

The tree was officially 'switched on' by local celebrity Pauline Bliss and afterwards we all had a nice cup of tea and a couple of paracetamol.





'God rest ye merry gentlemen....(hic!)...'
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