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Thursday, 25 March 2010


This week is 'Clean Cornwall Week' and everyone is out and about on litter picks tidying up, not just for our visitors, but for ourselves too.

Director, Estates and Wildlife (Paul) and Director, Bogs and Drains (me) spent an interesting hour this morning in the local layby on the A30. Those of you who are regular visitors will be familiar with the spot, a nice big pull-off just a couple of hundred yards before the site entrance where we encourage early arrivals during busy parts of the season to take a short break whilst their pitch is serviced for them between guests. We felt that as we are regular users of this convenient stop-over, we'd give it a bit of a spruce up for spring.

Let slip the dogs of 'wor...look wot I found!'

All life is in a layby...romance, celebration, fine dining, fashion and mystery...its all there!

Clearly romance flourishes amongst the crisp packets and choc bar wrappers as evidenced by the number of tear moistened disposable kerchiefs. However, I pity the poor damsel who is handed a yard of blue kimwipe by her truck driving amour to dab her damp eyes. That is serious loving!

'So this is where she got all her energy!'

Celebration is firmly at the heart of the layby culture and the drink of choice is a heady cocktail of cheap cider and green bottled German beer. Paul assures me that the pale yellow liquid in one of the bottles was a pre-club mix of vodka and orange...I'm just hoping it wasn't a post-club mix of vodka and orange!

Fine dining is the order of the day from a little known bistro beginning with a big 'M' who's name escapes me but I believe they used to have a farm until they grew too old!

Getting down to it!

Haute couture is no stranger to the layby fashion scene. The chance discovery of a rather fetching pair of ladies pants gave us cause for concern, given the chilly weather, so we will be sending them off for DNA testing and returning them to their hapless owner. Failing that, they will make a nice Christmas present for somebody of a distinctive shape and requiring rather more support than the average bal maiden.

And mystery of mysteries....why would you buy a set of new wiper blades in Halfords, choose to change them in a layby and then think that the correct way to dispose of the old pair was by throwing them into the hedge?

Home in time for tea and medals!

Many thanks to Clean Cornwall and Cornwall Council who do a great job throughout the year keeping us spic and span...but you can play your part....go on, pick up a bit of litter today, better still, lets not drop it in the first place!

'Just got to sort this lot out!'


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