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Tuesday, 11 May 2010


So...we had a General Election.

If you lived in the St Ives constituency, you might have been tempted to vote me a bluff old traditionalist, but if you are a candidate and don't live in the constituency (but you promise to move here if you win), you don't get the cross.

So we end up with the same old, same old, local boy in a yellow cardigan makes good (with a massively reduced majority)...and surely that's the end of it. You did your bit, your conscience is clear.

Surprise, surprise, the new blue suits fail to make the grade...even worse, the boy in a yellow cardigan is now talking to the new blue suits about cosying up and making a little political capital.

However, on the upside, Cornwall, which now has 3 cardigan boys and 3 new blue suits in the house, will at least have a voice in Government you would think.

Spanner comes flying across the room in the shape of an honorable man in a red tie saying 'in the best interests of everybody...I resign'. Well, he is an honorable man, but he did oversee the candidacy of a non-resident in this constituency which was a little patronising to say the probably best he goes.

Well blow me...yellow cardigans now decide that they go rather well with red ties...particularly if they can rearrange the wardrobe so that there are more cardigans and less suits and ties.

I suspect, like the rest of the electorate, we weren't given a proper choice, we didn't 'speak' with one voice as so many pundits allude to, we were just short changed as usual and confusion is the outcome. We are sartorially challenged! dream wardrobe.

Anything that doesn't involve - Michael Gove.
Prime Minister - Alan Johnson.
Anything that doesn't involve - Peter Mandelson.
Chancellor - Vince Cable (can he walk the talk?)
Education - David Laws...but not Michael Gove!
Home Secretary - Yvette Cooper
Justice - Jack Straw
Health - either of the Milliband Twins (Health is where you learn the importance of compassion, humility and service)
FCO - Nick Clegg (he probably needs to be out of the country for his own safety until the dust settles)
Sport, Culture , Media and TOURISM - Ed Balls (he would also have responsibility for non-ball sports too)
Defence - Anybody who has actually been in the military and understands the simple, unaccountable, un-businesslike levels on which the MOD operates...and wants to change them
Business - Gerry Robinson (somebody who actually knows what they are talking about)
Transport - Andrew Adonis (a real train man)
Leader of the House - Harriet Harmann
Anything that doesn't involve - George Osborne
Deputy Prime Minister - David Cameron (it might's about openess and consensus...let him have a seat at cabinet and see all the numbers and the argument)
Speaker - Chris Grayling (a good man in a blue suit)

So, that is my wardrobe of a cabinet...what's yours? I'm only asking, you don't actually get to choose! You've got to wait for a General Election for that.


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