The Lower Treave Caravan and Camping Park Blog

"Bugler! coming soon on 2017 .....Sound the Advance!

Scroll down for all the latest information, news and views from Lower Treave.

Thursday, 31 December 2009

Ooooo! MATRON!

For a good friend of Lower Treave who is currently under 'medical supervision'....

The one in the middle is doing the operation...

The one on the right is giving you the bed-bath...

...and the one on the left is just a figment of your imagination brought on by the anaesthetic!

Get well soon from all at Lower Treave.

Tuesday, 29 December 2009


The TV is full of them at the moment...or you could just look back through the Blogwall Bugle least there's no advertising for sofas!

Just go to the panel on the right and select the month of the year you want to browse through.

Remember, nostalgia ain't what it used to be! (and neither are the jokes on this blog! Ed)



Traditionally, the New Year period is our busiest time for bookings....and this year is no exception!

Just a quick reminder to our regular guests and readers that we are running fewer pitches this year, to give everyone a little more space to relax and enjoy their holiday, so a timely booking is essential to reserve your  bit of Cornwall for the summer holiday.

You can book your holiday here:

And the long-range forecast for next soon as we have it we'll post it up here...but this is what it is looking like for the rest of the winter:

Wrap up warm....and dream of a great Cornish summer.

Friday, 25 December 2009


Just got back from the annual rite of passage known as the Sennen Cove Christmas Day Swim. Those of you of a nervous disposition may wish to look away now:

Goose grease fetches a high price as preparations are made.

A combination of a high tide and long legs make the dash to the sea mercifully short.

We're not waving...we're drowning!

Nic takes on the surf.

Julie looses her specs after an early encounter with a rogue two footer.

Nic C searches for Julie....she's behind you!

Whale? Shark? Grumpy old bugger from the campsite?

'Without my glasses it is almost impossible to find pants!'

Capt Webb and Grace Darling...a rare snapshot from history.

'Grateful' friends and relatives put away the insurance policies for another year.

Peter discovers there is a surprising amount of slack in his shorts whilst Norman explains to the ladeez how big it was before the swim. Gosh how they laughed!

Team Treave Swim 2009!

Home for cake and medals!

YouTube Swim

Thursday, 24 December 2009

Santa's Holiday of Choice!


From us here at Lower Treave, to you, wherever you may be, have a lovely Christmas. Stay safe, stay warm, eat well, be happy and at peace with your world.

Friday, 18 December 2009


a buzzard on a branch.

In Afghanistan,
no partridge, pear tree;
but my true love sent to me
a card from home.

I sat alone,
crouched in yellow dust,
and traced the grins of my kids
with my thumb.

Somewhere down the line,
for another father, husband,
brother, son, a bullet
with his name on.

that Shakespeare loved –
turr turr, turr turr –
endangered now
by herbicide,
the chopping down
of where they hide –
turr turr, turr turr –
hawthorn thickets,
hedgerows, woodland.
Summer's music
fainter, farther…
the spreading drought
of the Sahara.

un, deux, trois –
do not know
that French they are.

Three Welsh lambs –
un, dau, tri –
do not know
that Welsh they baa.

Newborn babies –
one, two, three –
only know
you human be.

Only know
you human be.

The Condor calls from the USA.
The Wood Stork calls from its wetlands.
The Albatross calls from the sea,
on the fourth day of Christmas.

The Yellow-eared Parrot is calling.
The Kakapo calls from NZ.
The Blue-throated Macaw is calling.
The Little Tern calls from Japan, calls
my true love sent to me.

The Corncrake is calling; the Osprey.
The Baikal Teal calls from Korea.
The Cuckoo is calling from England,
four calling birds.

bankers' profits fired in greed.

The second ring outshone the sun,
fuelled by carbon, doused by none.

Ring three was black gold, O for oil –
a serpent swallowing its tail.

The fourth ring was Celebrity;
Fool's Gold, winking on TV.

Ring five, religion's halo, slipped –
a blind for eyes or gag for lips.

With these five gold rings they you wed,
then slip them off when you are dead.

With these five go-o-o-old rings.

This goose laid Barack Obama.

I bought a magic goose from a friendly fellow.
This goose laid Fabio Capello.

I bought a magic goose from a maiden (comely).
This goose laid Joanna Lumley.

I bought a magic goose from a busker (poor).
This goose laid Anish Kapoor.

I bought a magic goose from a bargain bin, it
was the goose laid Alan Bennett.

I bought a poisoned goose from a crook (sick, whiffing).
This foul goose laid Nick Griffin.

of a broken heart, one half.

The Mersey Swans, flying
for Hillsborough, wings of justice.

Two, married and mute on the Thames,
watching The Wave.

A Swan for Adrian Mitchell
and a Swan for UA Fanthorpe, swansongs for poetry.

The Queen's birds, paired
for life, beauty and truth.

Two milked voters to float her boat.
Three milked Parliament to flip her flat.
Four milked Government to snip her cat.
Five milked the dead for close-up tears.
Six milked the tax-payer for years and
years and years…
Seven milked the system to Botox
her brow.
Eight milked herself – the selfish cow.

But the lady in the Detention Centre does not dance.
But the honour killing lady does not dance.
But the drowned policeman's lady does not dance.
But the lady in the filthy hospital ward does not dance.
But the lady in Wootton Bassett does not dance.
But the gangmaster's lady does not dance.
But the lady with the pit bull terrier does not dance.
But another dead soldier's lady does not dance.

They sleep.

fir Scotland's Royal Bank;
twa pipers each
fir Fred and Phil,
fir Finlay, Fraser, Frank.
Too big tae fail!
The wee dog laughed!
The dish ran awa' wi' the spoon…
We paid the bluddy pipers,
but we dinnae call the tune.

banging their warning?
On the twelfth day in Copenhagen
was global warming stopped in its tracks
by Brown and Barack and Hu Jintao,
by Meles Zenawi and Al Sabban,
by Yvo de Boer and Hedegaard?
Did they strike a match
or strike a bargain,
the politicos in Copenhagen?
Did they twiddle their thumbs?
Or hear the drums
and hear the drums
and hear the drums?

Carol Ann Duffy
Christmas 2009


Here are the excuses so far for not swimming on Christmas Day:

'I've got a poorly hand and don't want to get my sling wet.'

'The Christmas lunch doesn't cook itself you know.'

'The doctor says I've got to keep my vest on.'

'I did something in the gym last week and I still don't feel right.'

'It's below my minimum safe altitude.'

'Elfs can't swim.'

'The water cooler needs servicing.'

'I can't find my trunks.'

'My new watch isn't waterproof.'

...any more???

Mr Cook takes his role as senior lifeguard and towel steward very seriously.

'Mad as a fish!'

Ladies...calm yourselves!...please form an orderly queue.

See you there!


On Christmas Day we will all be going for a swim on the beach at Sennen Cove. It will be very cold....which I don't mind... because the alternative is quite warm...and no beach.

They can't all be mad can they?

Last chance to have a say...

Now...where's that goose grease?

Tuesday, 8 December 2009


We've all been through the challenge of 'what is the most eco friendly christmas tree?', 'how do I recycle the tree at the end of the festive season?', 'what is my carbon sleigh print doing in all of this?' Well the answer seems to be start thinking about Christmas much earlier!

My crazy nephews have made their Christmas tree out of empty bottles (413 of them!) collected during the year. Lit by a single light, the tree stands out as a beacon to insanity on the road where they live.

The tree was officially 'switched on' by local celebrity Pauline Bliss and afterwards we all had a nice cup of tea and a couple of paracetamol.

'God rest ye merry gentlemen....(hic!)...'

Monday, 30 November 2009


Forget the Oscars, forget the Nobel Peace Prizes, this is the big one!

We are delighted to announce that Jean Osborne and Paul Michemore have been recognised for their exceptional service to the holiday park industry by the presentation of British Holiday and Home Parks Association (BH&HPA) Exceptional Service Awards.

Their citations read...

Jean Osborne...A long-standing commitment to the highest of standards in guest accommodation and service.

Paul Michelmore...An invaluable contribution to the development, management and maintenance of the Park’s environment and bio-diversity.

The BH&HPA says...

'The Exceptional Service Award is new for 2009 so please extend our congratualtions to Jean and Paul on being among the first winners of this prestigious award. We are delighted to enclose their certificates of achievement together with their lapel badges.

Details of their achievement will be documented on the Roll of Honour in the BH&HPA Journal.

We hope that it gives Jean and Paul a big pat on the back and lets them know how much you value their contribution to the park.'

Welll done to you both!


Sunday, 29 November 2009

SCRABBLE - Deja Vu, Ominous Portents, Signatures and Danish Pasties!

Lay awake last night in a 65mph wind thinking know...the well-known game where you have a handful of tiles and have to re-arrange them into a word like 'ROOF'.

We have certainly got some extreme weather at the moment, not just the wind, but almost constant rainfall...I have rarely seen the site so wet and its fortunate there's nobody on it during the winter, so the ground just keeps soaking it up. However, our problems are nothing; we spare a thought at this time for our customers, their friends, family and all the unfortunate victims of weather in the north west.

The Blogwall Bugle itself was born of an extreme weather event. Rememember August 2008? It was pretty wet, and to cheer everyone up we started to produce a one-side sheet of ramblings, gossip and pretty useless information to keep spirits up. Originally, it was called the Bogwall Bugle, on account of that was where it was posted up. Looking back through the archive, headlines catch my eye such as 'Woman Takes to Bed in Climate Change Protest' and there are some useful 'Norma's Problem Page' tips on coping with muddy conditions.

Hopefully, with the new layout of the park, this sort of thing should not happen again....However, there is a way you can help out too....

Wherever you come from, you must have heard of 'Climate Change'. I can already hear all the Daily Mail readers sucking through their teeth, but bear with me because whether you subcsribe to the 'evil man' theory or not isn't the issue here. I am not convinced by the one reason fits all augument either...I think there's a whole lot of factors involved in this, all of which have their part to play. However, what I am convinced of is that we are just using too much 'stuff' at a rate that we as a species can't manage in simple supply and demand terms or justify on the moral ground of being fair to all. So, we've just got to stop using quite as much 'stuff'' and give ourselves a bit of a breathing space until we can get all the big theories and policies lined up and sorted out.

Now, when we have a bunch of politicians coming together to talk about something as important as this, then it makes sense to first of all get them to agree to stop using quite so much 'stuff' until they know what they are talking about. It looks like all the major players are going to be in Copenhagen next month to do just that (well...hopefully). So how can you help. Well, politicians are fickle, vain characters who like to know that somebody is taking notice. To get their attention, all you have to do is sign up to the 'Footsteps to Copenhagen' declaration and lend your voice to the millions of others around the globe who are asking our representatives to show some leadership on this. Don't be put off by the fact that it has 'Truro Cathedral' in the headline...this has nothing to do with religion, it's just that the good auspices of the cathedral have kindly agreed to help out in pulling this together. And it doesn't matter where you come from....Cornwall is just one of a whole world full of places that is affected by this. So please...give it some welly...just sign....

Thank You!

You can find all the old Bugles on this blog posted back in December 2008 (see panel to the right).


Friday, 27 November 2009


Court and Social

So..What do these three things have in common?

That's right, they were all in Bath last night for the switching on of the Christmas lights. Roving Blogwall Bugle cub reporters Snickers and Water Cooler Boy bumped into Nicholas Cage as he was throwing the switches at the start of the Spa town's seasonal extravaganza.

Asked if he was intending to spend time at Lower Treave this year, Cage said 'Where?', which pretty much confirms his holiday plans.

However, the Hollywood heartthrob will be cut no slack during his sojourn under canvas...the rules quite clearly say 'Mandolin playing must be reduced to a minimum after 10.30pm'!


Wednesday, 25 November 2009


For the theatre goers amongst you who like to plan ahead here are the latest dates we have for the Minack 2010 season.

More pre-season events will be added as dates are confirmed.

To find out when the Box Office is due to open please CLICK HERE

Disney's Beauty And The Beast . . April 2,3,4,5 and 10,11,12 . . . [MORE]

Music and Comedy events - details to be announced . . . . May 15 to 21
A Mere Interlude . . . . May 24 to 28 . . . [MORE]
Jesus Christ Superstar . . . . May 31 to June 4 . . . [MORE]
To be announced . . . . June 7 to 11
James and the Giant Peach . . . . June 14 to 18 . . . [MORE]
To be announced . . . . June 21 to 25
West Side Story . . . . June 28 to July 2 . . . [MORE]
Romeo and Juliet . . . . July 5 to 9 . . . [MORE]
Le Bourgeois Gentilhomme . . . . July 12 to 16 . . . [MORE]
The Bartered Bride . . . . July 19 to 23 . . . [MORE]
On The Razzle. . . . July 26 to 30 . . . [MORE]
Moby Dick! The Musical . . . . August 2 to 6 . . . [MORE]
Love's Labour's Lost. . . . August 9 to 13 . . . [MORE]
Trumpets and Drums . . . . August 16 to 20 . . . [MORE]
Lark Rise . . . . August 23 to 27 . . . [MORE]
Hot Mikado . . . . August 30 to September 3 . . . [MORE]
The Rover . . . . September 6 to 10 . . . [MORE]
The Gondoliers . . . . September 13 to 17 . . . [MORE]
Proms at Minack . . . . September 18 and 19 . . . [MORE]


Sunday, 22 November 2009


...question is, will it fit in my Christmas stocking...?

Friday, 20 November 2009



Please, just sign wellingtons start to leak round about 2011, but your kids will have damp feet for life!

Cornwall Climate Change Pledge for Copenhagen

Thank you.


Monday, 16 November 2009


(Click on the letter to read and then use the 'back' button of your browser to get back to the blog.)

Saturday, 14 November 2009


From Radio Cornwall this morning....

'Storms swept through Cornwall overnight causing £50,000 worth of improvements to Bodmin!'

(You couldn't make it up.)

Meanwhile, waterlevels are rising on the new pond...will be selling tickets to the flume soon. Everything is just about holding together...given that no liners or concrete were used in the construction...just hoping the force of nature doesn't have too great an effect on our efforts to help nature out!

Off to watch Exeter v Pirates this afternoon...if they put up a high ball, get ready to catch it where you live!

Friday, 13 November 2009

PARASKEVIDEKATRIAPHOBIA, I will mostly be stopping in bed!

Thursday, 12 November 2009


Time to say goodbye to an old friend. Last seen on official duty at Lower Treave for the pond filling ceremony in October (see earlier post), Mum's old dog Bess has sadly died. Fifteen full and eventful years and never happier than when out on a walk, she will be very much missed.

Wednesday, 11 November 2009


Today we have naming of parts. Yesterday,
We had daily cleaning. And tomorrow morning,
We shall have what to do after firing. But today,
Today we have naming of parts. Japonica
Glistens like coral in all the neighboring gardens,
And today we have naming of parts.

This is the lower sling swivel. And this
Is the upper sling swivel, whose use you will see,
When you are given your slings. And this is the piling swivel,
Which in your case you have not got. The branches
Hold in the gardens their silent, eloquent gestures,
Which in our case we have not got.

This is the safety-catch, which is always released
With an easy flick of the thumb. And please do not let me
See anyone using his finger. You can do it quite easy
If you have any strength in your thumb. The blossoms
Are fragile and motionless, never letting anyone see
Any of them using their finger.

And this you can see is the bolt. The purpose of this
Is to open the breech, as you see. We can slide it
Rapidly backwards and forwards: we call this
Easing the spring. And rapidly backwards and forwards
The early bees are assaulting and fumbling the flowers:
They call it easing the Spring.

They call it easing the Spring: it is perfectly easy
If you have any strength in your thumb: like the bolt,
And the breech, the cocking-piece, and the point of balance,
Which in our case we have not got; and the almond blossom
Silent in all of the gardens and the bees going backwards and forwards,
For today we have the naming of parts.

Henry Reed

Tuesday, 3 November 2009


New photographs, new prices, additional info...all at the click of a mouse

Monday, 2 November 2009


Just been notified by the Cornwall Wildlife Trust that the amount collected this year from our visitor gifting coffee scheme was £150.98

Many thanks to everyone who put a few coins into the collecting box for their coffee....we've done the sums and the average paid per cup was what are Starbucks doing with all their money?

Don't forget, if you want to get somebody a really nice Christmas present, then try a Cornwall Wildlife Trust Calendar. Available now from their on-line shop
at just £5.00

Thursday, 29 October 2009


The long awaited announcement that bookings can now be made for 2010. We have published our new pricelist online and the website will shortly be refreshed with new details and photographs for next year. And you, dear Blogwall Buglers, get first look!

Firstly, as we discussed with some of you this year, we plan to reduce the number of pitches on the park next year...give everyone a bit more space, particularly for those who have the larger, more adventurously shaped tents and the 'outbuildings' which go with them. We are installing additional electric hook-ups for tents on the lower level and designating a special area for lightweight camping, backpackers and cyclists who will pay a reduced rate at all times. Overall, our pitch numbers will go down from 72 to 56 (22.5%)...bearing in mind that we had already reduced from our licensed number of 80. So, more space to enjoy that barbecue, no queues in the showers and less pressure on the environment...and if I can get the technology to work, this is how it will look....

Large pitches with an electric hook-up have been called 'Pitch Plus' and are shown in red. Large pitches without electric are called 'Pitch Large' and are shown in blue. Small pitches for lightweight camping are called 'Pitch Lite' and shown in green.

Click on the map if you want to see a full size version, but remember to come back to the blog for more news!

Along with the new layout of the site, we have reorganised our price list to reflect what we think is a fair charge for the service provided. There have been a number of significant factors to take account of this year...not least the general economic doom and gloom, but we think we are still competitive and hope you will want to book with us in 2010. Here are some of the things we think about when setting the rate:

VAT will go up on 1st January...we will absorb that cost for all low season touring bookings. You will pay the same price as last year, making it effectively cheaper!

Since the massive price hikes of 12 months ago, non of our utility bills (gas, water, electricity) have come down, and some have gone up again. We will try and negate some of that rise by using the resources more sensibly, but unfortunately some of the cost will have to be passed on.

Our business rates for 2010 onwards have just increased by 175%! We will appeal.

The Holiday Hire Caravans are already well booked for the summer. The price increase for them will range from 36p to £1.07p per person per night (based on 4 people sharing) to cover utilities, VAT and rates. They are very competitively priced.

The price of disposing of rubbish has gone up significantly...we will encourage more recycling and try and provide you with better facilities to do so to reduce the load.

Our pitches are large, we don't overcrowd or double book, even at the busiest times, and the site provides a safe, clean and secure environment from which you can enjoy your holiday.

Our 'high season' does not include any of the Public Holidays outside of August and is as short as we can make it.

Other parks in the area have also set their prices for 2010...we are a business and must be competitive.

We want you to come back!

So given all is the bit you have been waiting for...the pricelist.


Again, you can click on the pricelist if you want to see a full size version, but remember to come back for the last bit which is....

Our customers, guests, friends of Lower Treave are very important to us and we love to see you returning year after year. We know that cost is an important factor in your holiday and we are very aware of that when setting the price. This year, anyone on a touring pitch in low season will effectively pay less than last year. Anyone on a touring pitch in high season will pay an increase of less than the cost of half a pint of beer, per person, per night....but that is not an excuse for all you kids out there to start queuing up at the bar!

We look forward to welcoming you all in 2010. Those who have booked already will shortly be receiving confirmations and requests for deposits. If you wish to book now, either use the book on-line facility on the website, or give us a call on (01736) 810559.

Thank you.

Saturday, 24 October 2009


Further to my last posting on Lower Treave's wandering star of the oval ball....latest news!

Following an injury to Nottingham's Matt Parr (broken arm), Cookie will step into the breach and play for his old club, putting on hold his plans to 'winter in the sun'.

Cookie played for Championship side Nottingham in 2006 prior to joining Premiership side Harlequins, so it won't be the first time he has pulled on the green and white.

If you're in the East Midlands, why not pop along and watch a match at Meadow Lane. Full details on this link:

Nottingham Rugby

(PS...those boomerangs are more efficient than I thought!)

Wednesday, 14 October 2009


After two years with Championship side Cornish Pirates, Peter Cook leaves this week to play for his new team Brisbane. Good luck Pete, you have given us all a lot of fun and 'good sport', both on and off the field. If the Australians think they're tough...wait until they try your 'roadkill pie'!

Like a'll be back!

Monday, 12 October 2009


The Clerk of Works, Senior Management and Committee wait anxiously at the 'Filling Up' ceremony.

Paul puts the finishing touches to the small weir which will divert some of the water from the stream to the top of the new waterfall.

Water begins to flow.

And the pond begins to fill.

First reflections.

A celebratory toast.

The pond is dedicated to Roy Bliss who, in his life and work as a Landscape Gardener made many beautiful ponds. We hope he likes this one...and now we're all filling up...

Great gardeners never die, they just spade away!