BAD DAY AT THE OFFICE FOR 'THE STICK'

'The Stick' faced a barrage of shots as the Lower Treavers went down 8-2 to a well-drilled Morgarrows Duchy side at the Penzance Astro on Tuesday night. Looking distinctly green behind the mask following a heavy week-end training session in Bournemouth, the Treavers' last line of defence couldn't match the power and organisation of the orange mean machine as it rolled through its routines. . . 'The Stick', who has recently launched his own perfume range 'Eau de Silage', commented after the match 'It was all pressure out there...I need a week off!'. Rumours that he has been romantically linked to another member of the team cannot be confirmed as she is almost as secretive as the masked man himself, always turning her back on the lurking paparazzi. . . Further rumours that a new high performance coach is shortly to join the team from Coventry also abound. The coach, who recently completed a tour of New Zealand studying the ELVs (Extra Luncheon Vouchers), is expected in mid June and is believed to be starting the team on the new Trevaskis Diet as part of his game plan. . . Perhaps the new coach can help us out. Is this still legal in public? Rosie appears to think not! . Thanks to 'Ringers of the Week' Paul and Lynn of Windsor who pulled on the black for the cause. . Well played team....see you all next Tuesday....except for 'The Stick' ....who is taking a week off.